Bird of the Week!

This week, we continue our series of extinct Birds of the Week. We now move from the Dodos of the Indian Ocean, to the Moa in the Pacific. Moa were native to New Zealand, where they were both hunted and raised as livestock by the indigenous Maori tribe for years. It is believed that overhunting by the Maori led to the eventual extinction of the Moa around the 14th century.

Rather than describing a single species, Moa actually refers to nine distinct species of bird, falling into six genera. Moa are perhaps best known for their incredible size. Though they had gone extinct before being scientifically documented, estimates based on bone structure put the Moa at approximately 12 feet tall and close to 500 pounds, with the females often being larger than the males. Moa are also unique in that as chicks, they are simultaneously super frickin cute and really weird and ugly looking.

The importance of being yourself

It is important to be yourself

MarbleLympics

First and foremost, I am sorry that this post is coming in so late. The first three events of the 2019 MarbleLympics have already been completed, but there is still plenty of excitement to come! I would encourage all of our readers to take in this opportunity to see history be made, and join me in supporting, of course, team Green Ducks.
Opening Ceremonies + Underwater Race
Event 2 - Funnel Race
Event 3 - Balancing

Background Music

For best results, you should read this blog while listening to this music.

Dr. Seuss-- RACIST???

Welcome back bird lovers, I'm here to teach you all that your beloved childhood author Dr. Seuss is actually probably a big old racist. Let's look at the facts. 

1) Dr. Seuss wrote a book called One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. If the so called "doctor" of seussery thinks that it's important to differentiate between the skin tones of simple fish, there's not a doubt in my mind that he definitely discriminates based on skin color in humans as well. 

2) The Grinch. I'm going to be very open and honest right now, I love the grinch so much. Is it because I look like the baby grinch from the live action grinch movie? Is it because my heart is also two sizes too small? Is it because I too am green and hairy? Who knows! But here's the thing-- the whos down in Whoville are completely rude to the grinch. And why? Because he's different. He doesn't look like them and has faced discrimination for it throughout his entire life. He was made fun of for having a beard at 8 years old, and was eventually forced to live in isolation in the mountains so as not to face discrimination any longer. Our good old grinch didn't hate Christmas, he hated the people that wronged him, and that is valid. 

Time and time again, Dr. Seuss proves to us that he is racist and not accepting of anybody who doesn't look like him. Wake up America, Dr. Seuss is RACIST!

Bird of the Week!

This week, we begin a three-week series of extinct Birds of the Week. We begin with the most iconic example, the infamous dodo bird. This flightless species was native to Mauritius, a small island in the Indian Ocean. It was first documented by Dutch explorers in 1598. Unfortunately, having evolved int eh isolation of the island, dodos had no natural predators, and therefore no defense mechanism. After being exposed to the outside world, dodos went extinct rather quickly, dying out completely by the end of the 16th century. Or did they?
The dodo is often viewed as overweight, clumsy, and unintelligent, as befitting an animal that would go extinct, However, many scientists have challenged this view. It is believed that many historical depictions of dodos were from the end of the wet season, at which point the dodo would have packed on weight to help survive the coming dry season. Their perceived dim wittedness was really just a result of their lack of evolved defensive instincts, meaning they had no innate fear of humans, allowing them to be hunted with ease.

The REAL list of all time great birds

Not to name names but a certain cohort of mine, who you may or may not know, recently posted an article about important birds and failed to mention a few very important feathered friends that, without their contributions to modern society, the world as we know it would crumble.

- Woodstock
Little yellow bird from everyone's favorite comic strip "Peanuts". My all-time favorite quote comes from Woodstock, to paraphrase, "!!!!!!!!". I think we can ALL understand.

- Gonzo
While his species is still somewhat up for debate I think it is still very important that gonzo is mentioned in this blog. Name another bird on any list that single-handily started AND destroyed their own plumbing business. Talk about entrepreneurship!

- Hedwig (Harry Potter)
The bird whole ass DIED saving Harry's life- need I say more?

- Larry Bird
For reasons mentioned in previous blog post

 -Byrd scooters
Nothing like the feeling of a near-death experience via scooter!

Easter Bunny- bird or not?

Happy Easter everyone! This Easter I have spent a long time contemplating the Easter Bunny. I'm sure you've all seen the iconic 2011 movie The Muppets starring Amy Adams and Jason Segal. As you know, a central plot line of that movie is two of the main characters begging the question "am I a muppet or am I a man?" This plot line translates very well into Easter, where I'm sure the Easter bunny has an existential crisis from time to time wondering if it is a rabbit or a bird. It looks like a rabbit, but lays eggs like a bird. Perhaps one of my most controversial opinions is that the Easter Bunny is the realest fake bird of all time. Enjoy the holiday season, bird lovers!

All Time Great Birds

Throughout history, there have been many outstanding birds. Here are a few of them:

  > Archimedes - the loyal pet owl of Merlin, who assists him in tutoring King Arthur

  > Huginn & Muninn - the loyal Ravens of Odin, King of Asgard in Norse Mythology. They would fly around Midgard (Earth) and report what they saw back to their master, keeping him informed.

  > Tom the Terrible Turkey - after being injured by a hawk in 2006, Tom was adopted as a pet. He would regularly terrorize his new neighbors, often trapping them in their cars while circling them menacingly. Eventually, one neighbor called the police, and Tom was tragically killed in a police shootout :(

  > G.I. Joe - this American born pigeon became famous for his assitance in WWII via the United States Army Pigeon Service. When Allied troops lost radio contact and were unable to call off an air strike that would otherwise harm innocent civilians, they sent GI Joe to deliver the message, saving hundreds of lives in the process.

  > Larry Bird - Born in 1956 in Indiana, Larry Bird rose to fame playing professional basketball for the Boston Celtics,  with whom he won 3 consecutive MVP awards and 3 NBA championship awards. He also competed in the 1992 USA Olympic 'Dream Team.'

Bird of the Week!

Today's Bird of the Week is, drumroll please.... the Egyptian Goose! That's right, Alopochen aegyptiaca, of the order Anseriformes and the family Anatidae. It is an exotic species in North America, originally native to Africa. Some postulate that they spread to the US by escaping from personal collections, though there is no definitive answer as to how they arrived. They are often considered a pest, both in America and Europe, where they are also an invasive species. For more reading, see this article (may require a subscription).

"Finland"

For years, the state-controlled media has perpetuated the myth that there is a landmass straddled by the Gulf of Bothnia to the west and Russia to the East. This is a lie. In reality, this so called nation of Finland is nothing more than a facade, a conspiracy launched following World War 2 through the cooperation of Russia and Japan. Allow me to start at the beginning.

    Prior to World War 2, there was a Finnish culture. There is significant historical evidence of this. However, the geographic location of this culture was actually in what would today be considered part of western Russia. Many people today believe they are living in Finland, but in fact live within the geographical borders of either Russia or Sweden. By convincing these people that they are living in Finland, the One World Government is able to continue to perpetuate the myth.

    Now, to the heart of the issue. Why lie? The answer is quite simple, and obvious: money. Following World War 2, the Japanese and Russian governments saw the writing on the wall. The One World Government was forming, in the guise of the UN, and many historical practices would soon not be tolerated. One such practice is Japan's infamous fishing boats. Realizing that their fishing industry would soon come under fire, the Japanese entered into a trade agreement with the Russians- they would lease a large swath of open water off the Baltic Sea. In order to cover up this deal, the two nations agreed to create a false landmass. But who would populate this landmass? None other than the recently conquered Fins. Yes, the Fins actually lost the WInter's War, rather significantly.  Following VE Day, the Russian propaganda machine immediately got to work rewriting history, convincing everyone that the recently absorbed culture on their Western edge had in fact not been conquered, but rather continued to exist, on a landmass further to the west.

    Further evidence exists pointing to the illicit government dealings. The fishing agreement also necessitated the building of the Trans-Siberian Railroad. All of the fish had to be transported across Russia all the way to Japan. Nokia, the largest corporation in Finland, has one of the largest mobile market shares in Japan, despite being rather unpopular among the population. This is because the entire Nokia company is nothing but a front for the fishing operation.

   Now you ask, if the scheme was between Russia and Japan, to hide from the One World Government, why is OWG helping to perpetuate the myth? Well, toward the end of the Cold War, the UN discovered the deceit of Finland. At this point they were faced with a choice - admit that they had been fooled, showing weakness for the whole world to see, or continue to hide the truth. They decided to keep the lie going, and leverage it for their own benefit. They made Finland into their ideal country, a socialist, state run heaven. They began lauding Finland with awards, toting it as an example of what every other nation should aspire to. Best Environmental Performance, Most Press Freedom, Most Property Rights, Highest Consumption of Milk Per Capita, Most Technologically Advanced Country, the list goes on.

   Hopefully this post has opened your eyes to some degree. For further reading, visit:
       https://www.reddit.com/r/finlandConspiracy/comments/2y0oog/the_finland_conspiracy_and_all_you_need_to_know/

https://www.yamagata-europe.com/en-gb/blog/the-finnish-japanese-connection

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